My Demise

It was a cold and rainy late afternoon in Singapore. I was patiently waiting in line for Bus 965 on the way home. Clutching my laptop bag nearer so as not to bump into other people, my thoughts started wandering and I soon found myself in almost-la-la land. After 10 minutes, the bus showed up around the corner and passengers began shifting closer to the door.

Almost instinctively, I took out my EZlink card and held it in front of the scanner... *beep*... another 60 cents in the very-convenient-transportation-system pocket.

I looked ahead at the available seats and checked my favorite spot, several rows from the back and on an elevated platform... nobody has taken it yet. I settled down on the seat right next to the window and took out my earphones, turned on the player and looked out the window, drowning myself in Jason Mraz's "I'm Yours". The bus started on the way out the station and I closed my eyes to catch a quick nap before reaching the condo.

After some time, I heard the soft beep that signaled the bus to stop. More interested in getting some sleep, I still closed my eyes.... aware of other passengers coming on board the bus. Deciding that I wasn't going to get any sleep soon, I opened my eyes... and there he was... glancing at the empty seat beside me and making his way towards it.

He plopped right down next to me and stole a glance at my sleepy face... I turned my face away from him, looked out the window and tried my best to hide the feelings that suddenly surfaced. I closed my eyes once more and forced myself to forget that he was there... that I didn't notice his overwhelming presence... but I just couldn't... I am weak...

I could feel the tears starting to form at the corners of my eyes and I blinked several times rapidly to make them go away... then I just gave up and squeezed my eyes shut. I squeezed my eyes shut harder... ... and I couldn't stop asking myself... why?

Why did this anap have to take this seat next to me...? Why doesn't he just eat less spices... or better yet... none at all? Why does it have to be me who has to bear his "earthly" odor...

Why???!!!

Thunder clapped loudly... a witness to my demise on the 30-minute bus ride home as a single tear falls unbidden down my cheek...

First time mo?

Yey! My first blog ever!

Although i've just started writing my own blog, i'm already thinking about how many posts it would take before i become lazy and stop writing. I'm not really used to writing down my personal thoughts... a lesson well-learned when one keeps a diary in the same house as 2 older brothers who didn't quite get the meaning of "privacy" when we were still little kids.

I do remember during highschool, though, that I was fond of writing short horror stories... oh, I was such a gore fan those days. But they don't exactly count as personal thoughts... or do they...? Well, this is going to be my first shot... so enjoy the bumpy ride with me ;)

Anyway, a friend brought up this phrase that he just made up and sparked a short discussion...

Tranquil Abyss... a contradiction of sorts. Tranquil for the times in life that you feel everything is going your way... and you're positive that everybody just loves and adores you! Abyss for the times when... well, not everybody loves you... and times that just drain the life out of you.

Although I'm sure that each and every one of us would rather steer away from that bottomless pit of our own personal abyss, I can't help but think that one good thing comes out of those unforgiving jaws of haplessness... they remind us to be thankful when we do get out of that pit... some people getting out of it faster than others (damn them!).

As for the rest of us who struggle and emerge from that pit after quite some time... let's never ever give up hope... keep on climbing... so that one day we can all look back, hold our heads up high proudly, breathe deeply and say ... "I knew the rest of you couldn't make it out faster! Loser!"... just kidding... seriously ;)